Anything funny!!!

I miss the humor thread...so here it is :D


http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/blind-dog-plays-dead-p1.php?fb=1&page=index

Who says that dogs dont have humor.... LOL

how far can we go?

babyb wrote:how far can we go?

Try me :p





http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/fight-attendant-p1.php

babyb wrote:how far can we go?

I was afraid you might ask that question

Crazy Lady wrote:I miss the humor thread...so here it is :D


http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/blind-dog-plays-dead-p1.php?fb=1&page=index

Who says that dogs dont have humor.... LOL

lmao

The new answer for the birds and the bees


A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

You're Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

You've got Male!

ROFL

thank you, thank you

http://www.aglassandahalffullproductions.com/

Sara.UK wrote:http://www.aglassandahalffullproductions.com/

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

awwwww

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3U0udLH974&NR=1

Crazy Lady wrote:awwwww

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3U0udLH974&NR=1

aww so cute :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w00cqKj8gw0 :D

Achmed the dead terorist..
SILENCE! I KILL YOU!!!!

> If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
> >
> > If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)
> >
> > The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
> >
> > A A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
> >
> > A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
> >
> > Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour. (Don't try this at home,maybe at work.)
> >
> > The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the #@?!")
> >
> > The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
> >
> > The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
> >
> > Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
> >
> > Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)
> >
> > The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
> >
> > Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
> >
> > Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
> >
> > A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
> >
> > An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
> >
> > Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
> >
> > Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
> >
> > Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig???)

CREMATED HUSBAND

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.
Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.

“Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!”

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, “Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!”

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said “Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!”

Finally, still tracing her fingers n the ashes, she said, “Herman, remember that blow job I promised you?

Here it comes!!!”

beauxarts wrote:
> > A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

30 minutes? In my next life, I want to be a pig too! lol

Want some more?? I've got loads of em!
Here's another:

I want to live my next life backwards:

You start out dead and ge that out of the way.
then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy our retirement and collect pension.
then when you start work, you buy a mansion on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High School:drink alcohol, party, and you're generally
promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have
no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then....

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like
conditions- central heating, room service on tap, and then.....

You finish off as an orgasm.

beauxarts wrote:

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

I don't get it! why you want to be a pig? Every orgasm lasts 30 minutes, doesn't it?

yvonne wrote:

I don't get it! why you want to be a pig? Every orgasm lasts 30 minutes, doesn't it?

LMAO

yvonne wrote:

beauxarts wrote:

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

I don't get it! why you want to be a pig? Every orgasm lasts 30 minutes, doesn't it?

oh well...maybe maybe not...i think it depands on with who you are

yvonne wrote:

beauxarts wrote:

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

I don't get it! why you want to be a pig? Every orgasm lasts 30 minutes, doesn't it?

only 30min?

bettiboop wrote:

yvonne wrote:

beauxarts wrote:

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

I don't get it! why you want to be a pig? Every orgasm lasts 30 minutes, doesn't it?

only 30min?

1 hour? ...........

Or maybe... days?

tigz10 wrote:

bettiboop wrote:

yvonne wrote:

beauxarts wrote:

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

I don't get it! why you want to be a pig? Every orgasm lasts 30 minutes, doesn't it?

only 30min?

1 hour? ...........

Or maybe... days?

days..hmmmm yes
thats more my style